I'm Not Whole
by tommysgirl2016
Summary: Adam has been dating Sauli for a while but he has no idea tommy loves him. What will he do if he ever finds out?
1. Chapter 1

`Adam was in quite a place. He had been publicly dating sauli for a little over a year now, but he was confused and hurt. He watched Tommy as he slept. He was so sweet, so peaceful, but Adam knew different. It was hurting Tommy to see him with Sauli. Tommy cared a lot about Adam, but he kept to himself. No one knew how he felt towards Adam, or so he thought. Adam had came over one day by suprise, on tommy's birthday. Tommy was getting cleaned up in the bathroom that day so Adam waited just outside the door. He could hear Tommy crying, and he looked up, he was concerned. He peeked in through a crack in the door and Tommy was in the floor crying, his beautiful face red from the tears. Adam wanted to just rush in and comfort him but he couldn't, tommy didn't even know his was there, plus Tommy would probably be embarassed.

Tommy had his head in his hands, the tears fell to the floor. Finally Adam couldn't stand watching him cry anymore and he had to see what was wrong. He opened the door and Tommy immediately looked up. adam could still see a few tears running down tommy's shocked face. The little mans pale flesh wasn't pale anymore, it was red as cherries. Adam went and sat next to him and held him. "What's wrong Tommy?" he asked. Tommy's heart was pounding in his chest. "What do I do?! I can't tell him what's wrong! He's with Sauli, he's happy I shouldn't try to change that, what the fuck do i do?!" tommy thought to himself. Tommy jumped up, grabbed his clothes from the counter and ran out of the bathroom. On the way to his room he was quickly dressing. He got in his room and locked the door. He slid to the floor as he tried to calm down. adam came to the door and knocked. "tommy, I'm sorry I just came in like that but I couldn't stand to see you cry!" Adam waited for a reply.

Tommy started crying again, it hurt to hear adam's voice. "I can't tell you anything adam" he yelled. "Why not tommy? You can tell me anything!" Adam waited patiently. tommy put his head against the wall, biting his lip to keep back more tears. His heart was racing, he wanted to tell Adam so bad how he felt. "Adam, I love you! " He finally yelled back, he put his head down and cried more than he was in the bathroom. "I just fucked up, Adam's going to think I'm stupid! It's gonna be awkward talking now! what if he doesn't even say anything back?!" Tommys thoughts were rushing through his head. Adam was on the other side of the door. He was shocked by what he heard, he had no idea Tommy felt that way. Suddenly, the way Tommy kissed him on stage made sense. He thought Tommy was straight, but he always wondered why Tommy kissed him like he did. "Every time we're on stage, It's like my own personal heaven. It's where I can kiss you without feeling weird about it. When I leave though, my chest hurts. I don't know why...it just does." tommy said quietly. "That's love, when the person you love is away from you, your heart stays with them so you feel empty. Then you aren't whole again until they're with you again." Adam said. "Well then," tommy started crying again,"I guess I won't ever be whole."


	2. Chapter 2

After that, neither of them spoke. Tommy thought Adam may have been weirded out by what he said. This depressed tommy. Adam was still on the other side of the door, letting all that information soak into his brain. Tommy felt alone, he felt like a freak. He went to his night stand and grabbed a bottle of liquid sleep aid. He sat on the bed staring at the bottle. "Hey Adam?" he hoped for a reply. "Yea Tommy?" Adam replied. "I'm handing in a resignation..." Tommy downed the bottle of sleep aid and cried even more. "What?!" Adam jumped up and tried to open the door but it was locked. "damn it Tommy what the hell do you mean resignation!? You're the best one in this band!" Adam beat desperately on the door. Tommy laid on the bed, the beating sound on the door slowly started to fade out. "Ok Adam...you're a big guy...you can just break the door and replace it...yea!" Adam thought. He broke open the door to find Tommy passed out on the bed. He looked on the floor and seen the sleep aid. Adams heart dropped to his stomach as he rushed to Tommy. "Tommy! Tommy wake up! What the hell did you do?!" adam was shaking Tommy trying to wake him up. Tommy said things here and there that made no sense but Adam was ok with it because it let him know tommy was still alive.

Adam grabbed his cell phone and called 911. He was hysterical talking to the operator. Adam was holding Tommy close as he talked on the phone. Tommy was half way awake but just barely. "He...cares about me? Me?" he thought. Tommy could smell Adams cologne, he could barely breathe but he could still smell it. He lifted a hand, he couldn't even feel it anymore he was just numb to the core, but he took his hand and laid it on adams arm. Adam threw the phone on the bed and took tommys arm, snuggling it in his chest. "tommy, you can't leave me! I know I'm with Sauli, but i had no idea! I didn't know Tommy! Please don't go!" Adam put his face against Tommy's cheek. Tommy could feel the wet tears on Adams face. "I'm causing him pain? I'm making him cry? Why?" Tommy thought. Then the rest was a blur as Tommy blacked out.


	3. Chapter 3

Adam was trying to wake Tommy back up but it was in vain. "Tommy please wake up! please!" He screamed. The ambulance finally came, but Adam didn't notice he just kept screaming for tommy to wake up. But tommy wasn't even trying to anymore. The paramedics tried to take tommy from Adam but Adam kept holding him tight. "You can't take him! He's going to wake up! Whatever you do to him you'll have to work around me damn it!" Adam was totally out of control, he was holding Tommy so tight his hands were white. They took Tommy's vitals to find they couldn't help him, it was already to advanced. They left Adam with tommy and waited for the inevitable.

Adam was cradling Tommy in his arms. He couldn't believe what Tommy had done. He was running his fingers through Tommys hair trying to arouse him awake again. Right when Adam was about to call it quits, Tommy started to cough. He turned Tommy to his side and Tommy threw up the liquid. Purple liquid was all over the white sheets. Tommy, barely able to open his eyes, cracked his eyes open just a little. He was still numb to his core, but he was alive. Adam scooped him up and kissed all over his face, crying from being so happy. Tommy looked up, barely even there. He seen Adam smiling the biggest smile he had ever seen, and he was smiling at him. "Adam..." Tommy whispered, "I'm sorry...I scared you...I didn't know...that you cared so much". Adam moved the hair from Tommy's face, kissing his forehead. Tommy decided to be bold and he lifted an arm, wrapping it around Adams neck, and he pulled him closser and laid a kiss on his lips. It didn't last long because Tommy was to weak to keep holding onto Adams neck. Tommy was about to fall back to the bed when Adam held him like he was, kissing him again. "I'll be there to catch you when you start to fall glitterbaby..." he whispered to Tommy. Tommy's eyes rolled back as he passed out again, knowing he was safe.

When he woke up, it was dark. He looked at the clock and it said it was 3:34 AM. He looked around and seen that Adam was laying next to him. Adam was sound asleep with his arm laying on Tommy's stomach. Tommy felt really ill. He didn't want to disturb Adam though. He looked like an angel sleeping next to him. Tommy found himself starring at this sight until dawn. Finally Adam started to stir and move around. "Adam..." tommy said, "I still can't really feel anything.." Adam, being the loving person he was, decided to do something nice for Tommy. "Glitterbaby, how about I run a hot bath for you huh?" "That'd be nice adam but how would I bathe?" He asked. "Well I could help you, the more you move I'm sure the more you'll start feeling again." Adam replied.

Adam went and drew Tommy a hot bath. He took Tommy and carried him into the bathroom, sitting him in the tub. "Is the water to hot?" Adam asked "Nah, it feels good actually." said Tommy. Tommy tried to lift his arms to wash himself, but the resistance the water made was a little to much. Adam picked up the slack, taking Tommy's arms and moving them against the water. "Getting any more feeling back Tommy?" he asked "a little but not much." he replied. After a few more times Adam stopped and lathered Tommy in soap, gently cleaning his pale flesh. Then it was time to wash Tommy's hair. He lathered his hair with shampoo being very careful not to get it in Tommy's eyes, then he rinsed it out. "Hey, uh, Adam.." Tomy started "There's stil the issue of washing...uh...there..." Tommys cheeks turned pink as he blushed. "Oh I was waiting for that area because I didn't want to do something you weren't comfortable with." Adam explained. tommy looked at Adam and adam looked at him almost as if he was asking permission to touch Tommy down there. "Adam, I love you, I'm comfortable with anything you do." Tommy blushed even more after saying that. With that, Adam cleaned Tommy up.

Adam slowly lifted Tommy from the tub. tommy was finally getting feeling back in his legs. He could barely stand on his own still, so Adam helped to hold him up as he dried him off. After Tommy was well dried, he helped tommy to the bed to sit. Adam got him some clothes and helped him get them on. "How do you feel Tommy?" Adam asked, fixing tommy's hair. "I feel better than I did." tommy looked down, avoiding Adams eyes. "why aren't you looking at me glitterbaby? Is something wrong?" Adam was puzzled. "I don't want to be hurt Adam so I'm not looking at you because if I do, when you leave, I'll feel like shit again." A single tear left Tommy's eyes, slowly going down his cheek. Adam quickly wipped it away, "Don't cry again Tommy! No more crying! I won't ever leave you again!" Adam cupped Tommy's face but tommy was still avoiding his eyes. "What about Sauli?" Tommy's voice was starting to break. Adam took tommy's chin and lifted his face. He kissed Tommy tenderly and said "Forget Sauli, I'll take care of it." Tommy stared at Adams eyes. It was like looking into heaven and it was all his.


	4. Chapter 4

After a few days, Tommy got feeling back but he was still exhausted. He just took a shower and went back to the bed. "If you wait a second Tommy I have some of your clothes in the dryer and I'll bring them to you, then you can be nice and warm!" Adam sounded excited about that. So Tommy agreed and laid on the bed waiting for the clothes. He fell asleep waiting. Adam came back with the clothes and he was distracted by tommys nude figure on the bed. He laid the clothes on the dresser and went and slowly sat on the other side of the bed, watching Tommy sleep. After a few minutes of admiring Tommy's figure he noticed Tommy must have been having a very "interesting" dream. Tommy's member started to get somewhat firm. Tommy squirmed a little while he slept, a tiny gasp escaping from his mouth.

"Ok adam, get a hold of yourself, Tommy's sleeping, it may be amazing to watch but you HAVE to look away!" Adam kept thinking that but it wasn't having any effect, his body wouldn't move an inch. Well at least the most of his body wouldn't. While he was trying to keep himself calm, his own member was starting to firm up. Adam started to rub the outside of his pants as they grew tighter. Tommy stretched a little, still asleep, his back bent slightly. His member was quivering, and Tommy was letting out tiny moans. Adam could tell tommy's cock was aching for some friction. He bit his lips as he starred at Tommy's cock. It was quivering, leaking out precum. Finally Adam pulled his member out and stroked it as he watched Tommys. Adams head fell back as he gasped in pleasure. He finally laid on the bed next to tommy, still stroking his cock.

Suddenly Tommy's cock shot out its juice making Tommy arch his back as he woke up to feel the cum splatter on himself. He laid there for a minute when he suddenly felt kisses down his neck. He turned to see that adam was hard, and Tommy was feeling the aftershocks from his climax. He decided he wanted to see what the rest of Adam tasted like, so he went down to Adams cock and licked all over it. Adam bent forward as he gasped. He grabbed tightly onto tommys hair. "Looks like your dicks pretty sensitive Adam." Tommy grinned. Adam couldnt take it anymore, he started thrusting into Tommy's mouth forcing him to deep throat. Tommy loved it, he moaned as Adam thrusted back and fourth. Adams moans got louder, so loud tommy thought they would shake the whole house. "T-tommy...Oh god tommy" Adam was in total bliss. "Tommy, mmm...I-I think I'm g-gonna...fucking cum!" Tommy sucked harder on Adams cock, he wanted Adam to cum in his mouth, he wanted to know what he tasted like by heart. "OH GOD TOMMY..." Adam screamed, "IM FUCKING CUMMING, MMMM FUCK!" Adam bent backwards, almost like a back bend as he filled Tommys mouth with his sticky cum. Tommy swallowed it all, licking up what leaked out of his mouth.

Adam was catching his breath as Tommy snuggled into his chest. "Hey Adam.." tommy said," Can we wait to have...actual sex?" "Have you never done it with a man before?" Adam asked. "No actually, I love you Adam but, I'm afraid of sex with a man, I'm afraid it may hurt." Tommy blushed. "Awww Glitterbaby! don't worry when we have actual sex, I'll go really easy on you I promise." Adam wrapped his arms around Tommy, holding him close. "How about...we do it now then?" tommy asked. "Are you sure Glitterbaby?" "Y-yea...I want to give you everything I have Adam.." Tommys face turned to a noticeable pink. Adam smiled as he slowly kissed Tommys soft lips. They wrapped their arms around each other as they kept kissing, tenderly, passionately kissing each other. Soon, Adams tounge was asking Tommy's lips for permission to enter. When it did, their tounges slowly danced with each other before slowly exploring every inch of each others mouths.

Adam nuzzled into the crook of Tommys shoulder, kissing all over his neck. Tommy put his hand at the back of Adams head, wrapping his other arm tighter around his waist. His mouth gaped open a little allowing gasps to escape. Adam put a hand on tommy's ass, squeezing tightly. Adam could feel Tommy growing, their cocks were rubbing on each other. Tommy pulled Adam off his neck, resting his forehead on adams chest as he slowly rocked his hips against Adams. Adam was watching, letting tommy explore a little. Tommy was so new to this, a total virgin when it came to men. Tommy held on tight to Adams shoulders as he continued to rock against Adam. Adam decided to rock in sync with tommy, this made tommy pull closer as he moaned.

Tommy was getting close to climaxing again. He scrunched up his face trying to hold back his orgasam. Finally he knew he had to stop otherwise he was going to cum to early. So he laid on his back, breathing hard. Adam climbed on top of him and kissed down his chest and stomach. "Adam be careful, I'm really close and I don't want this to end yet..." Tommy was squirming a lot as Adam worked his way down. Adam licked tommy's cock in one long sloppy lick. Tommy's back arched as he grabbed the sheets. "GOD ADAM YOUR GONNA MAKE ME FUCKING CUM!" Tommy screamed with pleasure. Adam knew now that Tommy was there, he just needed a little bit more to get over the line. So Adam gave Tommy another sloppy lick and tommy arched his back like he never had before as cum spilled out of his cock. "OH GOD ADAM UUUFFF..." Tommy pulled the sheets tightly.

Adam licked up all of Tommy's cum before attempting to enter him. Adam Slowly went to insert his cock in Tommys tight hole. "G-g-gentle...Adam.." tommy said between breaths. Adam slowly started to insert himself in Tommy. Tommy squirmed a little, his face had a look of pain and pleasure on it. Tommy grunted as Adam went in deeper. Finally Adam was all in. He let Tommy get used to having him inside of him before he started. "Adam..." Tommy said as he pulled him close. Adam started to slowly and gently fuck Tommy. Tommy let little gasps out as Adam got faster. Tommy dug his nails into Adams back, trying not to scream. "Am I hurting you?! If I am tell me please!" Adam said, scared he was hurting Tommy. "No Adam, you're not hurting me, I want your to be satisfied. So do whatever you want to me, just please, touch me, fuck me, anything." Tommy said as he kissed Adam.

After a little bit Adam got faster and rougher. Suddenly he groaned and Tommy felt something warm release inside of him. He knew Adam had came inside of him, and he loved it. Adam pulled out of Tommy and laid next to him. "Adam, It felt good to have you in me..." Tommy said. "I'm glad you liked it Glitterbaby, I'm glad I didn't hurt you. Did you like your first time?" adam asked. "No, I loved it." Tommy said, snuggling up to adam.


End file.
